1. It's okay to doubt...
Right about the time school got out last spring, I found myself in a state of depression (if I can use that medical diagnosis rather liberally) based on fears concerning death and the validity of God. The first thing I learned in this is that it is okay to doubt. Sometimes as Christians we fear that God is going to give up on us or strike us down with a lightning bolt because He gets tired of our mistrust in Him. However, on the contrary, I think God desires us to be knowledgeable believers and to plough through the difficult concepts often presented in the Word. II Timothy 3:14-16 speaks of how we should continue in what we have learned so that we will become wise in salvation. It follows this by saying that "all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." God desires to see us grow, and it is often in our times of doubt that we learn why we believe what we claim to believe. However...
2. There is a time to move on from doubts...
I began to find that my doubts were ruling my existence. I was afraid to drive my car for fear of a freak accident. I was afraid of standing in a beautiful rainstorm for fear of getting struck by lightning. I was afraid of falling asleep at night for fear of never waking up. Sounds pretty illegitimate, doesn't it? It was not my doubt that was my problem. It was my fear. I was allowing the doubts to grow into fears, which would then dictate the way I viewed life. This is an unhealthy pattern, and one that I believe God does not desire in His people. James 1 says that if a man asks something of God, he should not doubt, as a doubter is "like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." The author of Hebrews also challenged me to move on from the elementary things I knew of the Christian faith. Growing up in a Christian home, I knew the Bible pretty well, but nothing of living by it. Hebrews 6:1 says, "Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity..." This reminded me that knowing Christ is a lifelong journey. I knew Christ the day I decided to follow Him, but there is so much more to know.
3. Living in abundance...
Just as God doesn't want us to to live in constant fears based upon our doubts, He desires us to live abundantly. Switchfoot has a song (and I don't particularly love the tune) called "More Than Fine," and it's about the lead singer's desire to be "more than just okay." I agree wholeheartedly. In all seriousness, who would honestly say they are content to "just get by" or "make it through the day?" NO ONE!!! We all want to live. To quote Braveheart's William Wallace: "All men die, but few men truly live." Christ didn't die on the cross so that we'd be saved but then live in mundanity. He died to bring purpose and intense impact to our heavy and darkened souls. A great verse to memorize is John 10:10, in which Christ says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it in the full." In the full!!! He not only saves us, but gives meaning to futility and reason to confusion. Why do we have to go through doubts and struggles then?
4. Is God truly good?
One of the most prevalent questions of mankind is "Why do bad things happen to good people?" (I don't believe anyone is good in the first place, but that's besides the point). Good question. Hebrews 12 is a great chapter on this topic, and it is not one I would even try to summarize in a paragraph. However, I will say that God has been teaching me that every trial I face will either harden my heart towards God or turn it towards Him. It is by our trials that we grow (a solid theological point), and God often disciplines us as a Father to draw us to Himself. It boils down to whether we believe He is a cruel dictator or a benevolent Father. The answer to that question, the one you choose to believe, will heavily affect the outcome to your trials. I know it has dramatically affected mine.
5. Cling to hope...
Hebrews repeats many times phrase such as "Hold on to...," "Cling to..." or "Fix your eyes..." All these phrases signify a grasping of some solid and unchangeable idea. I love Hebrews 10:23, which says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." My struggles with doubts this summer came to a head when I realized I could not go on as I was. I could either turn away from God and choose to ignore my pain, or give it to Him and trust in His faithfulness. I professed a hope in my life that was built upon nothing but the promises of God and the blood of Christ, and to throw that hope away would be devastating folly. I chose to hold on, and I know that God everyday is working in me to fight those fears. Would it not have HUGE ramifications if it were true that a God of the Universe would choose to work in me, a confused and hopeless wretch?
6. Conclusion...
There is no better conclusion than borrowing from Hebrews 6:17-20: "Because God wanted to make his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for our soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek."
Do you believe it?
