Summer Pondering

'Tis been too long since I lifted my pen (or laid hands on my keyboard, rather). It is amazing how time flies over the summer, some to good use and some not so much. As this summer is now on its way out, I thought I would simply share some of the lessons God has been engraving on my heart lately. 

1. It's okay to doubt...

    Right about the time school got out last spring, I found myself in a state of depression (if I can use that medical diagnosis rather liberally) based on fears concerning death and the validity of God. The first thing I learned in this is that it is okay to doubt. Sometimes as Christians we fear that God is going to give up on us or strike us down with a lightning bolt because He gets tired of our mistrust in Him. However, on the contrary, I think God desires us to be knowledgeable believers and to plough through the difficult concepts often presented in the Word. II Timothy 3:14-16 speaks of how we should continue in what we have learned so that we will become wise in salvation. It follows this by saying that "all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." God desires to see us grow, and it is often in our times of doubt that we learn why we believe what we claim to believe. However...

2. There is a time to move on from doubts...

       I began to find that my doubts were ruling my existence. I was afraid to drive my car for fear of a freak accident. I was afraid of standing in a beautiful rainstorm for fear of getting struck by lightning. I was afraid of falling asleep at night for fear of never waking up. Sounds pretty illegitimate, doesn't it? It was not my doubt that was my problem. It was my fear. I was allowing the doubts to grow into fears, which would then dictate the way I viewed life. This is an unhealthy pattern, and one that I believe God does not desire in His people. James 1 says that if a man asks something of God, he should not doubt, as a doubter is "like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." The author of Hebrews also challenged me to move on from the elementary things I knew of the Christian faith. Growing up in a Christian home, I knew the Bible pretty well, but nothing of living by it. Hebrews 6:1 says, "Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity..." This reminded me that knowing Christ is a lifelong journey. I knew Christ the day I decided to follow Him, but there is so much more to know. 

3. Living in abundance...

     Just as God doesn't want us to to live in constant fears based upon our doubts, He desires us to live abundantly. Switchfoot has a song (and I don't particularly love the tune) called "More Than Fine," and it's about the lead singer's desire to be "more than just okay." I agree wholeheartedly. In all seriousness, who would honestly say they are content to "just get by" or "make it through the day?" NO ONE!!! We all want to live. To quote Braveheart's William Wallace: "All men die, but few men truly live." Christ didn't die on the cross so that we'd be saved but then live in mundanity. He died to bring purpose and intense impact to our heavy and darkened souls. A great verse to memorize is John 10:10, in which Christ says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it in the full." In the full!!! He not only saves us, but gives meaning to futility and reason to confusion. Why do we have to go through doubts and struggles then?

4. Is God truly good?

     One of the most prevalent questions of mankind is "Why do bad things happen to good people?" (I don't believe anyone is good in the first place, but that's besides the point). Good question. Hebrews 12 is a great chapter on this topic, and it is not one I would even try to summarize in a paragraph. However, I will say that God has been teaching me that every trial I face will either harden my heart towards God or turn it towards Him. It is by our trials that we grow (a solid theological point), and God often disciplines us as a Father to draw us to Himself. It boils down to whether we believe He is a cruel dictator or a benevolent Father. The answer to that question, the one you choose to believe, will heavily affect the outcome to your trials. I know it has dramatically affected mine. 

5. Cling to hope...

     Hebrews repeats many times phrase such as "Hold on to...," "Cling to..." or "Fix your eyes..." All these phrases signify a grasping of some solid and unchangeable idea. I love Hebrews 10:23, which says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." My struggles with doubts this summer came to a head when I realized I could not go on as I was. I could either turn away from God and choose to ignore my pain, or give it to Him and trust in His faithfulness. I professed a hope in my life that was built upon nothing but the promises of God and the blood of Christ, and to throw that hope away would be devastating folly. I chose to hold on, and I know that God everyday is working in me to fight those fears. Would it not have HUGE ramifications if it were true that a God of the Universe would choose to work in me, a confused and hopeless wretch? 

6. Conclusion...   

     There is no better conclusion than borrowing from Hebrews 6:17-20: "Because God wanted to make his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for our soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek."

Do you believe it?

A Friend

I have no clue who or if anyone reads these posts, but I will continue to write regardless. I've been thinking a lot lately about friends. So often I think about who is my friend, or what I like to find in a friend, but much less often do I consider what kind of friend I can be. I like having friends who are honest with me, but am I honest to them? I like friends who listen patiently to me, but do I listen to them? I like friends who trust my judgment, but do I trust my friends? I like friends who will stand by me in both the good times and the hard times, but do I remain true to them in those times they need me most? It's hard to put myself in the mind of Christ (in fact, impossible in my sinful nature), but as I grow in Him, I try to think of what He must have been thinking around people. Being completely unselfish, he must have always put their interests first. I guarantee you He wasn't asking Himself what He wanted in friends. In fact, He hung out mostly with people who were nothing like Him (i.e. sinners!). The reason He could do this was that He was being a friend, not seeking friends. If Christ wanted to build an earthly empire of material and social power, He would have made friends with the Roman and Jewish leaders of the day. They were the big dogs who could really benefit Him, not the prostitutes and beggars. Christ was a rebel in the way He acted. He was building a kingdom of spiritual matter that started with sacrifice of comfort for the sake of others. I want to learn to be a friend, not to have friends. It's easy to have friends by sucking up to people or hanging out with like-minded people, but it's incredibly hard to be a friend. I want to learn to be a friend, and one place to start is by offering my friendship to anyone who needs it. I want to care about the needs of others. Living from my viewpoint, the world revolves around me and my life. Proof of this is that I don't miss one second of my life. I can live in every opportunity I come upon. However, I seldom take the time to try and put myself in the shoes of someone else, another human being who has the same struggles, thoughts, worries, joys, and victories. As soon as I can do that, I can start to sympathize and offer myself to them as someone who will stand by them, stand up for them, and support them through all they go through. It's a challenging thought, but I'd like to be a better friend than I've been. I want to learn to love. 

Resting In Peace

R.I.P in our society is equated with "kicking the can." It's on countless gravestones across the country and for good reason, too. However, I think there's more to resting in peace than meets the eye. Resting in peace probably happens most when a believer dies, going to be with his Lord forever, but resting in peace can occur in our every day lives. I love the verse Matthew 11:28, in which Jesus tells us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Forgive me if I misinterpret the context of the verse, but I don't think he's talking to a crowd of corpses. He's also not telling people that they should commit suicide and rest in peace. His audience at the time was probably an odd conglomeration of mothers, school children, teachers of the law, tax collectors, beggars, prostitutes, thieves, and officials. They all were from different walks of life, some easier than others. His point was that if we are weary or burdened, we can come to Him and find rest. Webster's Dictionary defines "rest" in several ways: 

1. "a bodily state characterized by minimal function." Hmm...I don't think this is what Christ meant. 

2. "freedom from activity or labor." This doesn't mean that we should stop working, but there is a simple sense of relaxing and releasing all the stress that comes from work at Christ's feet.

3. "a place for lodging." Okay, in the context of a homeless person looking for a place to stay the night, that's a cool analogy.

4. "peace of mind and spirit." Now that sounds more like it...the peace that passes all understanding will guard your minds and your hearts in Christ Jesus (Philippians). 

It is simply coming to Christ, laying down our worries upon Him, and knowing that He will give us rest, not anything else we use to try and cope with the world. This is not abandoning the activities of our day, but rather, in the midst of our days, finding rest in the quietness of our hearts knowing that our Savior is with us and desires us to come to Him. It's a cool thought, and I'm glad we can start resting in peace before we're buried ten feet under the ground. Actually, on a final note, the peace we can have now in Christ is simply a glimpse of the glory that will come when we are with Him forever. What a cool thought! Eternal rest...

Do you suffer from LNTS?

I'm totally making this up, but if there could be a medical diagnosis of what I struggle with a lot, I think it would be called "Late Night Thinker Syndrome." I am often like a drone during the day, moving about from place to place, mindlessly doing my business. Class is a good example of my daily behavior. I wake up at 8:02 (give or take a few minutes) every morning, take a shower, jump on my bike, and head off to class. In class, I sit there and take notes, and then repeat that three more times before heading to lunch, then my bike, and finally arriving back home. I seldom have deep thoughts about life in the context of my daily routine, but as soon as the sun sets, my LNTS starts kicking in. My mind begins to wander from topic to topic (often sparked by the events of that day), and I plough through the various scenarios being created in my head. Who would think that such a strange looking organ as the brain could contain so much knowledge in the incredible way God has designed it? And it is not this thinking that is the problem, but thinking is a cause of the problem. I suppose being human, or maybe just pessimistic at times, I often make the worst-case scenarios of the things I think about. Even though all of this goes on inside the walls of my head, it is incredible how much effect thinking can have on a tired mind and body. 

The main problem is my worrying. I find that I worry about my future more than anything, given that is the one area of time and experience that my mind does not know or remember. The future is a big question mark, and all I can do is entertain thoughts of what could be or should be. I know that we are supposed to keep an eternal perspective on this earth, but eternity does not mean this life on earth. I tend to equate eternity with time, but on the contrary, eternity in its truest form has nothing to do with time. Time is a human way of trying to describe a non-human concept. Eternity is outside of time just like God is outside of time, and it has much to do with God. Hebrews 12:2 says what I'm trying say much better: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." There are a few things I get from encouraging verse. First of all, we are supposed to fix our eyes on Jesus. This means that regardless of the chaos or uncertainty of a situation, we are called to put our eyes on One who is outside of time, just like eternity. This is what it means to have an eternal perspective. Secondly, He is the one who created and perfects our faith. What is faith? Moving a chapter back in Hebrews (1:1), the author defines it nicely saying, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." With that in mind, I have to ask myself, "Am I having faith late at night when I exaggeratedly worry about what I hope for and remain uncertain of what I do not see?" NO! I am not practicing faith at all late at night, allowing my mind to rule me rather than vice versa. If Christ is the author of our faith, He must know how to use it much better than we do, so we should learn from Him. Also, if He is the perfecter of our faith, we shouldn't be spending so much time trying to work out the problems ourselves. The key to Hebrews 12:2 is that Christ should be the center of our focus at all times, even late at night. I'm sure as a human He had lots of worries about the cross and the enormous task of bearing all of our sin upon Himself. However, He laid down His worries at His Father's feet, and He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down by His Father's right hand, the place of highest honor. That is the role model of faith. John 17 is a great chapter if you want to take a closer look at what kind of faith Christ had in the Father.

So that I don't go on eternally (get it?), I will tie up my thoughts. I am human, and therefore prone to struggle with Late Night Thinking. However, that is just one of many areas I struggle with, and perhaps you do not struggle with that specific area as much as others, but the point is that humans fight sin. We all tend to worry, but living with our eyes focused on Jesus Christ is the best way to learn to leave our concerns at the feet of One who loves us deeply and also is willing and able to perfect our faith. That is the prescription for LNTS. We can trust God and know that at His right hand sits the One who paid the price and enable us to live free of worry. Of course we will struggle, fall, and ponder the foggy future, but know that a loving Lord is walking through it all with us. What a hope!

Wow, this was longer than I anticipated! I just got going, I guess. Well, it's getting late, and my mind is beginning to get tired. I'm a bit worried about that test tomorrow, so I better go to bed.

P.S. The second-best prescription for LNTS other than fixing your eyes on Christ is sleep! He gave that to us, too!

A Pile of Stones

Starting a blog seems silly in some ways, but it's cool to express what God is doing in our lives. In the Old Testament, Joshua and the Israelites would set up monuments in the forms of piles of stones to commemorate something God had done for them. I want to dedicate this blog to the Lord. He has done so much for me, and it is astounding how far he has brought me in my short walk with Him. He is truly faithful to finish the work He has started in us, and all I can do is tell of the wonders He has done. This blog will be a pile of stones, each stone a reminder of the great works our Lord does.